I have always been a person who has required external validation to feel good about the decisions I make. Weather the validation came from my mum, my husband or my friends… It occurred to me earlier this year that although this is normal it is exhausting always wondering what other people think.
It is funny how this blog came along, it is quite possibly the least amount of external validation I have received from doing something, but I have gained the most personal validation from it… That may sound strange, but I soon came to realize I love writing, it makes me feel good and I feel like I am good at it… the hardest part about that is, when blogging it isn’t unusual to get minimal amounts feed back, you don't get a High Distinction or a pass mark and you are left with your own thoughts about it, which can be awkward for someone like me who likes that confirmation.
The process of this blog has made me learn to self confirm my own skill of writing and endorse my own opinion of my blog and not relying on the opinions of my readers to validate if my blog is good enough to keep writing. This is easier said than done at times and for those who think it is not, I challenge you to sit and really think about your opinions of yourself and the things you do and why you chose to think them and do them. (tricky sentence to get your head around I know)…
Personal validation is great, I wish I found it sooner, so far the moments of accomplishment last longer, not losing their shine based on what I am worrying other people are thinking. I will always require external validation, it is a part of me and my make up and it shows I care about others and their opinions and it would seem a little narcissistic if I never sought it out, but learning to trust that what I am writing is good and worthwhile has been a great lesson and like all good feelings I want more of it.
Today I am not going to end with “whilst I am loving my family” I am going to end in something else, it is my goal to find more things in life that encourage that feeling of self worth and self-validation. I want to find validation in the small things I do daily, strive not to be a super mum but to feel super because I am a mum and to know although as a women in this day and age, I can have “it” all, it is ok to feel good about yourself even if you don’t want “it” all. Like the saying says “ the simple things in life are often the best” and it seems that they might be much easier to achieve.