TO My best friend who endlessly listens to me whine at her, I love her dearly for it…
My thoughts for today are about patience.
We have had our house on the market now for 12 months or more, I feel so frustrated and like I am stuck on hold. There are a few other things that hinge on the sale of our house and I just feel a bit like I am stuck in a stale mate.
I tend to live in the future and need to try and live for the now, this is so damb hard, we have just had some bad news of one of my husbands cousins and he is quite sick and although I don’t know him, it brings it back to reality that life is so short. LIVE FOR THE NOW…
The reality is, that if our house had sold any time in the last year, I am not ready to move anyway, so I truly believe there is a power greater than myself saying “Deanie you don’t need to control this, I will make it happen for you in the right time”, could the last year of my life have been a bit more productive, rather than feeling like I have no control, I could of used the time to feel calm about my present.
When I let it go perhaps it will happen… A new friend said to me yesterday, “write it down and let it go and see what comes of it”…I pondered on that all night, I really don’t know how to let things go, controlling my environment and future is so second nature to me, the art of letting things go is just not really in my character.
I have spent this year trying to find what my soul wants to do with life. I want life to be REALLY simple. Cut out all of the expense, glamour, show off, decipher friends that are not friends and really live a life that is simple and full of substance. My only problem is that as a result of the life I have already built, I have to slowly make the changes and when I am an all or nothing person, this slow transformation is just about killing me….
learning in my in between times that Life has it way not me, no matter how hard I try to make something happen, unless my higher power wills it, it just isn’t going to happen and when I see the snippet of values and the person I want to be, I need to hold onto them and feed them, using my energies to make me the person I want to be for now, not waiting for the future.
Share with my children that buying cars and houses although they are important parts of life are secondary to living … and if I put these things first it can impede or complicate my ability to live now.
The thought that has stuck in my head all day is “Just because I can, does not mean I should”.
My number 1 boy asked me the other day, "why don’t you have an iphone and why do you chose to keep buying outdated technology and look like a goof"…after having a chuckle to myself, I reminded him that although I could have one if it was meaningful to me, phones hold no meaning to me, so I would rather spend my money on something that brings me substance.
I don’t really think he understood, until I said to him that an iphone would pay for a heck of a lot of his school fees… he then understood.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that people who drive nice cars and have iphones have no substance, because I know a lot of beautiful people who work hard and who have great cars and lovely phones and it add’s value to their life, I am speaking only for myself and what adds value to my life. Remembering my values will not suit any of my readers they only suite me.
So my quest in this “in between time” is…
To edit the things in my life that don’t bring me joy
To enhance and protect the thing those that do
And…try to live the experience I see for my future today, to the best of my ability….
Whilst I am loving my family
I can hear in the background my 2 years old, 3.5 years old and the dog having their own version of cricket… the simple things are often the best