I woke up not so long ago with such a
stressed feeling, something I have felt so many times it has sadly become
natural for me to feel this way. I
knew something had to change.
About 18 months ago I found a book called
Potatoes not Prozac, this was literally life changing for me… It is another
weight loss program amongst many that I have tried had success and then failed
yet again. Now don’t get me wrong
this time it was different, this book made me aware of something really
important, I have an extreme sugar addiction. I became really focused on an extreme sugar
free life style and for 6 months I felt wonderful… It was for the first time in a long
time, I was feeling mentally on top of things. And there were so many stories on the news to collaborate how I was feeling.
For example:
I wondered some days how I ended up with 4 children, when all I do is
yell. I realized that at 4 pm when the kids get
home from school, I am yelling because at 2pm I had a big feed of sweet tea and
fruit cake, I was crashing, but when I changed my snack to a sugar free one and
added some complex carbohydrates to get me through to dinner, our house was
like a different place between 4 and 7 pm… NO MORE YELLIING!!!
How simple was that. And don’t mistake me, I don’t mean to
replace sugar with artificial sweeteners; they have the same effect and the
added bonus is they give you all sorts of other medical worries.
6 Months later we went on a holiday to Melbourne with the kids where I gave
in to sugar (my favorite waffle place in Melbourne Central), the smell of that
place is literally to hard for me to walk on by. The rush was divine, but soon after I wanted more, what happened
then became apparent to me that my addiction had taken hold of me.
It did not matter how much knowledge I have
of food, diet’s, calories, sugar, even the horrible withdrawals I knew I would
have, I was powerless to stop eating it again… I would go a few days’ even
hours some times and my mind was back to thinking of what I would eat next.
In my state of ignorance before I knew of
my sugar addiction I was obsessed with my weight but it was different, once I
knew what my problem was and then could not fix it, it was depressing, all the
knowledge in the world was not helping, it made it worse, the answers were so simple “Just cut a simple thing out and you will be fine”…
I felt such a failure; I had no will power
to even be able to do something as simple as that.
Finally I went to the doctor, where I sat
and cried out of sheer frustration and pain, “I feel such a failure” I explained, “for 27 years I have been aware of my weight or my body obsessions and
it is literally driving me insane, I cant possibly take another day of being so
self absorbed and consumed by me”.
Anyway, she looked at me with her big gentle
eyes and she said “we can fix this”, I knew by the way she spoke, she truly
meant it and I guess a problem shared is a problem halved, I just felt the
world was lifted of my shoulders.
She began to tell me about a program called
the John Gabriel method, she explained it is guilt free and with some
counseling and a few simple steps your life could be changed. I was so ready to jump on board, I think
if she suggested for me to eat my toenail clippings for a month I would of, I
just knew I needed help…
Anyway she prescribed a few simple things
like Fish oil, stomach enzymes and a pro biotic. She explained this would get
things started before the book arrived and my counseling began.
I went to see the counselor 2 weeks later,
she did a little probing and we both realized I was highly stressed and I
realized stress manifests it’s self in different ways. I was not depressed but I was totally
on edge with life. She explained about the John Gabriel Method,
which she herself had used with success and on my drive home I knew I needed
the book and the meditation cd as soon as possible.
I started that night; I felt Corny… It was
something I had never done before meditating and even though I felt relaxed I
was not properly into it… I had also made a conscious decision to turn of the
TV in our bedroom that day and it has not been turned on since.
In this Meditation he says you may start to
notice things only days after… I can honestly say I felt it 2 days later. I can’t
explain to you what it is I feel. You can’t see it on the out side and I don’t
know where it is in my body. But I
am different.
I am visualizing the time I want to wake up,
and I do with no alarm! I am
visualizing reading textbooks, and I am!
And I don’t like to read.
After weeks of visualizing and meditation for 20 minutes before I sleep,
my dreams are vivid, my sleep is deep and I feel so refreshed when I wake, I
cant ever remember feeling like this since I was a child.
I have been reading the John Gabriel Method
book, which comes also on an audiotape if reading is not for you. The book nearly brought me to tears;
the things he says made SO much sense.
I guess the proof will be in the pudding, I may never actually lose
weight, but you know I have not worried about what I have eaten in weeks, I
ALMOST... feel beautiful the way I am and that is a massive enough change for me to be
able to just say that.
The big rule is not to weigh yourself, not
to diet, you need to add in live fresh food and protein in each meal, even if
you eat it with ice cream and to take some supplements, to give your body back
the nutrients that dieting has stripped it of for so many years. Also the meditation… HOW SIMPLE IS
THIS…
So guys I guess I will write another blog
in a few months if there is any change, but today… My weight is insignificant to
me, I feel great and I just want to keep meditating and reading what he has to
say. To anyone reading this blog
who has worried about his or her own weight, I suggest you read the book, you may
not lose weight (but most people I know who have done this program have) but you will
feel revitalized and fresh ready to go…
This week I am visualizing "taking my kids
to play group", something I have never done, so even if this program give me the
energy to be a better mum and it gets me out of the house with the kids, it will
have been a great tool “whilst I am
loving my family”…
Just
on a funny note: In the back ground I
can hear my 13 year old yelling at his 3 year old brother for something… He says “you stupid little girl”… my 3
years calls back in a very professional but perplexed manner “I am not a girl,
I don’t have a gina I got a willy”… maybe you had to be there lol…
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