"We just know what we know"

It is funny how we just know what we know….

My two eldest boys are from a previous marriage, (that is a whole blog on its own)… when my now husband and I decided to have children together he was a little worried that our new children would think my ex husband was their father too.  

(Are you finding this hard to follow?? Stick with me I am making a point)…

I consoled my husband by saying, “don’t be so bloody stupid”…

I come from a very complex family, 3 half brothers on one side and a half brother and sister on the other… with a couple of step brothers and a sister somewhere in there too…

Now as young as I can remember, I never once thought, “Are my siblings parents my parents”… I just knew what I knew, that they were my siblings, nothing more nothing less.

My 3 year old son knows the older boys go to this persons house each other weekend and then they come home… he is smart enough to adapt a name for his father recognising my older boys don’t refer to him as dad.  His big brothers call him Adam and I call him dad, so at 3 he decided his dads name was Dadam…

It dawned on me the other day, those of us who are blessed with step parents, brothers and sister of half, step, fostered, adopted or of ring in nature, are really showing intelligence and lateral thinking at an early stage in life…

Most grown adults cant understand my family structure, but at 3 my son gets it fine, you have to wonder if it is adults who complicate things by trying to simplify stuff because we under estimate our kids level of understanding.

My husband has a bad habit of saying “bloody women drivers”, it's a little joke betweens him and I, but over the years, these little ears have listened to it and now any close calls on the road or frustration they instantly say ‘women drivers” missing out the "bloody" because they are smart enough to know they will get in trouble for swearing, but thinking its the truth that women are bloody terrible drivers…

The moral of this story is… Kids are bloody smart, and they don’t question what they see as anything other than normal.  Which is a lot of responsibility but also great… We mould these little people and they don’t question anything… Your truth is their truth and they will always believe your lies…

So my thought for today is how can I better the belief system for my children by being a smarter parent at times…and how can I empower my children by not making so many excuses for their bad behaviour, when in reality they are smart enough to know exactly what they are doing.  Tough love and self-reflection are hard jobs at times but that is my goal for this week “whilst I am loving my family”